Trust: The Basis of Every Relationship

February 14, 2018 

I have been very pleased with our first three weeks of men’s ministry. I think people are bonding and being blessed, and being a blessing to others. I think that of all the things that can make a group successful, the most important this is trust.

I’m sure that many of you have been in either a personal or business relationships where there was no trust. You can’t have a successful relationship with someone that you can’t trust. The only way to reach deeper levels with people is to know that there is safety in the relationship. When two people get married, they make a covenant to love and honor each other to the exclusion of all others. There has to be trust for that to work. When we have friendships, we have to know that our friend will go to the mat for us, protect our secrets, tell us the truth, and be loyal and trustworthy. 

David and Jonathan had a friendship like that. After David killed Goliath, he was invited to live in King Saul’s palace. As David grew up he became a fierce warrior. King Saul’s greatest enemy was the Philistines. David killed lots and lots of Philistines and he became very famous. Then the people liked David better than Saul because he killed more Philistines than Saul. Saul became very jealous of David. Saul was sure that David was going to try to make himself king by force. So Saul decided to try to kill David. But David had a friend in Saul’s son Jonathan.

1 Samuel 18:1 says that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.” Verse 4 says “Jonathan made a promise with David because he loved him as himself. Remember, God said that David would one day be king, but Jonathan was Saul’s oldest son and he should rightfully be king. 

What would Jonathan do? Jonathan showed himself to be a true friend to David. David was on the run from Saul for many years. He was living in caves. His spirit was broken. David didn’t understand God’s plan. He wrote many of his psalms while he was living in caves on the run. He needed a friend. Jonathan was the best friend David ever had because David could trust Jonathan. I want to show you five characteristics of what makes a friend trustworthy and therefore a true friend from the story of David and Jonathan:

1. A true friend is loyal

Saul’s jealousy of David was making him crazy! In 1 Samuel 19:1, Saul told Jonathan and his soldiers to kill David. But in 19:2-3, Jonathan warned David of the danger and promised to talk to Saul about David. Jonathan convinced Saul not to kill David in verse 5-6, and for a short time, David was able to come back to Saul’s palace as before.

2. A true friend risks everything for you

But then Saul became suspicious of David again, and again planned to kill him but David escaped (1 Sam 19:11.) Then some time passed and David wondered if Saul was still going to try to kill him. In Chapter 20:12, Jonathan promised to find out for David. When Jonathan found out that Saul was still trying to kill David, Jonathan stood up to his father and demanded to know what David had done that deserved death. But Saul threw a spear at Jonathan to kill him. Jonathan risked his life for David and then went out and warned David again.

3. A true friend suffers for you and with you

In Samuel 20:34, Jonathan fasted because he was so upset with Saul’s plan to kill David. In verse 20:41, after Jonathan warned David that he must flee, the two hugged and cried. Jonathan shared David’s pain and again swore his friendship to David. 

4. A true friend is a great encourager

In 1 Samuel 23:15-18, while Saul was hunting for David, Jonathan went out and “encouraged him in God” (16-17.) Jonathan reminded David that he was God’s chosen one and that God would see him through these trials and one day make him Israel’s king.

5. A true friend puts you before himself

Jonathan knew that David would be the next king of Israel because God had chosen David for this position. If Jonathan wanted to be king, he could have helped his father kill David. Instead, Jonathan again made a promise with David before the Lord. Jonathan put David before himself. This may have been the last time that the two were together. When Jonathan was killed in battle David cried and cried. 

It’s really hard to have friends like this in life. Most of us will be lucky to have 1 or 2 friends like this in our whole lives. But it is a model to aspire to.

Jesus did all of the things for you and me that Jonathan did for David. He was living in perfect relationship with God the Father and the Holy Spirit. He chose to come to earth as a helpless baby. He put us before Himself when He did that. When He chose to allow Himself to be crucified on a cross, He risked everything and suffered and died for us. He endured the shame and the pain of the cross so that those of us who trust in Him and believe in Him would be able to live forever in heaven with Him. He encourages us through the Holy Spirit and has proven Himself trustworthy.

We can’t love perfectly like Jesus did, but we should try. We don’t always know how life is going to work out, but we know that we can trust Jesus, and that’s the basis of any relationship. As our men’s ministry continues to grow, I pray that we trust each other more, and learn to exhibit these 5 attributes of a true friend to each other. Whether in men’s ministry or any other relationship we have, we will surely thrive using this model.